I have a lot to say to you, but never really had the chance to. The time we had together was too short but it was filled with a lot of beautiful memories. I know we didn't talk a lot when you're still here, but deep inside, I know that you knew how much we love you.
Abah, it's already been almost 2 weeks since the day you left us. I miss you so much Abah, I miss seeing you everyday, I miss your voice, I miss your smile, everything. We were lucky we got to eat the last meal that was cooked by you, right before the day you left. It was a really nice meal, we all enjoyed it. You were such a good cook Abah, I always enjoyed your cookings. I always loved your nasi goreng, you always cook good nasi goreng. I'm going to miss the time we spent together in the kitchen, preparing meals for dinner. I always helped you, and you always called me 'chef', which I'm obviously not, you're the actual chef. I'm going to miss the times where you asked me to give the food a taste, to see if it's tasty enough. And you always trusted me as the food taster. Good times. :)
Abah, I always wanted to say how much I love you, how much we all love you but we don't do that kind of thing, we're not that kind of person who expresses love through words. I want you to know that we really do love you, even if we didn't say it out loud. We love you so much that it hurts so bad when you left us. It feels like we lost a part of ourselves, a part that always completes us. It's hard, Abah, because we're so used to having you here all the time. Now that you're gone, our home seems so quiet and empty.
So many things have changed in such a short time. Most of them are good changes. You don't have to worry, we're going to be okay here. Losing you changed us to be a better person, a better muslim, even a better family. We will always remember you, and pray for you. We hope you're happy there.
I'm so glad that we didn't had the chance to say good bye to you, because we'd never want to. It still feels that you're still here, like you've never even left. Mama left all your stuff untouched, because pretending that you're still here makes us feel better.
I will write more letters to you Abah, eventhough I know that you can't read it, I don't care, I still want to. Talk to you soon. May Allah always be with you. Love you.